Mouth Diarrhea...

I have this problem...it's called Mouth Diarrhea. Now, I don't think this is an honest sickness, or disease...yet...but it should be. I really, truly, need help with this problem. When I get really excited, or worked up, or emotional about something...out comes the flood of unwanted dialogue. It comes gushing, and flooding and running out, just like...well, diarrhea. If there was only a pill I could take for this...maybe even some Kaopectate. Unfortunately, no medicinal fix will help ward of my dreaded mouth diarrhea.

Case in point:
Whenever Marc is out of town I am home alone...alone, alone, alone. Which is completely fine. But it makes me think...seriously think. And then my mind wanders, and wanders, and wanders. You can see where this is going right? So, while my mind is wandering...small issues, concerns, thoughts, and ideas that have no basis, or importance all of the sudden become monumental in my mind. The more I think about them, the bigger the issues, or ideas, or concerns become. (I should not be letting you inside my head...not a good idea...never let out all of your idiosyncrasies all at once right?) So, I have these big ideas, concerns, thoughts, issues...whatever they may be...(you don't get ALL the dirty details...I do have SOME privacy)...and I have to find a way to discuss them with my dear husband. With all this time on my hands while he is away I can reflect on how best to discuss with him, or break him the news about my newest thoughts.

So, my husband returns home last night from a week long goose hunting work trip in Cold Bay. Now, I'm a smart lady. I know when your husband comes home from a long trip, the last thing he wants to hear right off the bat is you blabbering on about thoughts or concerns that have no basis at this point in time. Especially at midnight, when he just walked in the door lugging totes, and coolers, and gun cases, and bird samples, and frozen geese. I say again...THIS IS NOT THE TIME. So, I need to give him time & space to relax, maybe give him something to eat. I know I should wait until...maybe tomorrow, or the next day. He doesn't need to be bothered with any of this right now.

And just then, without warning, it comes pushing its way out. NOT NOW...NOW IS NOT THE TIME! But I can't help it. When it is here, it is here...it is...MOUTH DIARRHEA. (So much for me being a smart girl huh?). So, within five minutes of my husband being home, I am squirting mouth diarrhea all over him. He doesn't deserve it, and has done nothing wrong. Two minutes ago, we were in bliss, and I was so happy to have him home. Now, he's covered...in mouth diarrhea. At this point, my emotions are flooding...like the diarrhea...I am yelling and crying, and screaming at him. (I am seriously not placing myself in a good light right now.) When I have mouth diarrhea, there is no holding back emotions...and you can kiss me discussing things as an adult goodbye. What a happy welcome home for my dear husband. Why, why, why did the mouth diarrhea have to come at that moment. I couldn't hold it in, I just couldn't...I had been thinking about things for a week, letting them build and build and build...why do I do that? Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Needless to say, a very sleepless night followed. A night of me crying and discussing, and talking, and yelling, and fighting...not at all like an adult. Not at all like I planned. Not at all like a wife should. Welcome home honey!

So, if any of you have the cure-all to the dreaded mouth diarrhea...I am in serious need. Not only for me, but for my husbands sanity, and the sake of a happy marriage.